


I'll still believe

by nealinor



Series: Unholy Trinity [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Biting, Bloodplay, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Bottom Castiel, Bottoming from the Top, Demon Dean Winchester, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 18:49:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nealinor/pseuds/nealinor
Summary: Castiel struggles with his feelings for Dean now that Dean has become a demon.





	I'll still believe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Andromytta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromytta/gifts).



> Andromytta gives me prompts for PWP and this one was simply Angel Cas and Demon Dean. Somehow what comes out is never so simple as the prompt itself. This one became a songfic. I've not written one in roughly 7 years or more so be kind! That said, I'm actually really pleased with it.
> 
> I marked this as dub-con; I don't think it is but I also can see how some might feel that way. Be aware.
> 
> The song referenced in this fic is "Holland Road" by Mumford and Son.

_So I was lost, go count the cost…_

Castiel paced outside of the dungeon, completely uncertain of what to do next. He could hear the sound of Dean struggling with his bonds through the doors. He was shouting though Castiel wasn’t focused on the words. They were probably swears and most likely aimed at him. The swearing and shouting had gotten worse as they’d progressed with the demon cure. After the last round, Dean had been screaming and swearing, Sam had looked so weak that he was wavering on his feet so Castiel had sent him to bed and promised to keep watch. He was after a fashion, just from out in the hall. He didn’t have a road map for what to do when the one person you care for most of all had turned into a demon. He felt, for want of a better word, lost. Completely adrift in a world that no longer made sense to him.

Cas squared his shoulders and told himself to go into the room. It was just Dean, albeit an angry and bitter Dean that wanted to pull his wings out feather by feather. He was an angel, a warrior of God and could certainly handle one demon tied to a chair. Words were just that, they wouldn’t hurt him. Dean needed his help right now. He knew that the righteous man, _his_ righteous man was still in there and probably suffering. That decided him. He pushed the door open.

_With your heart like a stone you spared no time in lashing out,  
And I knew your pain and the effect of my shame, but you cut me down,_

“Well, what do we have here? A little choirboy come to gloat?” Dean wasted no time at all as Cas hadn’t gotten the door fully open yet. “Come out, man! I know you’re there.”

With a huffed breath, Castiel stepped around the door and laid his eyes on Dean.

“Was that so hard …. _Cas-ti-el?”_   Dean drawled his name out as if it were a curse.

“Hello Dean.” Cas stood before the man who sat still and glared up at him from the chair. His eyes were the green that he was used to but the ugly smirk on his lips was not. Still, even twisted in disgust at him, the curve of them was still beautiful as was Dean. He could see the light of the man’s soul fluttering helplessly against the evil that pressed down and imprisoned all the good that still existed inside Dean. Just looking at it made Castiel’s chest ache but he didn’t look away.

Dean shifted in the chair, sprawling out in a manner that drew attention to the shape and size of his body. “Like what you see?” His voice took on a seductive tone, his eyes narrowed and gleaming in the low light.

Cas blinked, feeling heat bloom in his cheeks and travel down his chest.

“I see that way you look at me, Cas.” Dean’s voice was low and suggestive; his movements were silky as he leaned forward. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? It’s been going on forever, hasn’t it? This pull between you and me?”

Cas licked his lips which suddenly felt dry. “I don’t….”

“Yes you do!” Dean cut him off, his fists banging into the arms of the chair. “Don’t lie to me, Cas! It’s in the way you stare at me, the way you get nervous and lick your lips whenever we are together, even the way you are avoiding my eyes right now. Man up and admit it!”

“I.. don’t see how this matters now.” Castiel found himself drifting closer to Dean, drawn by the intense, dark look in the man’s eyes.

“It matters, Cas.” Dean’s voice remained dark. “It has always mattered. I just don’t have a damn reason to hide it now.“  He looked up directly at Cas, his green eyes boring into cool blue. “You want me, even now.  You want a god damn demon.” He threw his head back and laughed, the cruel sound that filled the room and made Castiel’s heart shrink.

He staggered back, away from the sound without truly understanding why it cut him so deeply. He only knew that it did. It wasn’t his Dean there, it _wasn’t._ He scurried to the door trying not to look back. His fingers closed on the doorknob, and he couldn’t stop it. He looked back at Dean because the laughter had stopped. Dean’s eyes were fully black now and fixed on him, his lips curled at the edges in a hungry expression. “You know I want you just as much as you want me. Always have.”

The air between them grew thick. “Dean…I…” He yanked the door open and made his escape.

“Go ahead! Run!” Dean’s voice mocked him as he stepped through and tugged the door closed behind him. “You can’t escape yourself.”

***

_And I will not tell the thoughts of hell  
That carried me home_

Castiel didn’t go far. He pressed his back into the door he had just closed and slid down to the floor. He could hear Dean’s laughter chasing him out and haunting him. It didn’t help that Dean, the demon, whatever, had been right. He wanted Dean and that was hard to admit, much harder than the love he felt had been to accept. Love could be pure in a way; it could be unsullied by darker desires and sin. What he felt was not that kind of love. He desired… possession. To take Dean’s body and use it until it simply belonged to him. He wanted to touch Dean’s soul and look into those green eyes and see that he wanted this too. It was something of Castiel’s personal hell. It was a sure sign that he was a pathetic angel and irrevocably broken.

Clenching his hands into fists, he tried to force the feeling of want away from him but the hot and heavy darkness swept through his body and limbs, weighing him down and dragging him under. He was aroused. He could feel it and the sensation was odd. He knew he should not be so deeply entrenched into his vessel but he couldn’t seem to stop it. This body had uses and one of those uses was to claim Dean. To give him pleasure. To bind them together for as long as they were both alive. He yearned for that more than he desired his wings or his home in heaven. Dean was everything and even as he was, lost to the weight of the mark, he wanted him, burned inside for him.

_With my heart like a stone and I put up no fight  
To your callus mind, and from your corner you rose to cut me down_

 

The pull to go through that door and to face Dean again was so strong, even though he suspected that it would be his own damnation. It seemed he didn’t care. There was something about Dean that made him weak. He felt as if he was being brought to his knees by the sheer amount of want that pumped through the vessel. Castiel was more than aware that between his legs, his member had become engorged and strained against the confines of his clothing. Desire whispered sultry words into his mind about how good it would feel to slam the erect flesh into Dean’s body over and over again. He knew he could exert his strength to do so if only he could get beyond his fear of doing something that Dean would hate him for when he became cured. The trouble was he wasn’t sure he could deny himself that pleasure either. The knowledge sank through him, as a solid weight to settle in his gut. He stood up, his body moving of its own accord. He opened the door to the dungeon because the pull toward Dean was a gravity he simply couldn’t resist.

From the chair, the demon grinned at him, teeth white as the corners of the lips quirked up sardonically. “Ready to face the demon on your shoulder, pretty angel?”

“I am.” Castiel thanked all that was holy that his voice didn’t crack or shake as he met Dean’s gaze with his own stare. The air between them crackled with energy and something more. Desire. It pumped out of Dean in waves that seemed to crash over Castiel. He nearly staggered beneath the weight of heat that darkened the green eyes he knew so well. Even as a demon, it felt familiar. He longed for the touch of his Dean, the sure knowledge that this was what he wanted too. He _needed_ that knowledge and told himself that he would wait until he got it.

He knew himself to be a liar. And perhaps a fool as well.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Dean tugged at the chains that bound him to the arms of the chair, his hips squirming in the chair. “I had no idea you had a bondage kink, Cas.”

Castiel pinioned Dean with a hard stare as he came forward. He dared to touch the back of Dean’s hand. His flesh was like fire. “I don’t think it wise to let you loose, Dean. I may be naïve, but not quite that naïve.” His fingers traced up Dean’s arm and across his shoulders as he circled the chair. He was going to do this. There was no stopping himself from this fall.

_So I hit my low, but little did I know that would not be the end_

Cas had no clue how far down this rabbit hole went but he was committed now. He’d fall until the ground rose up to meet him. Reaching over Dean’s shoulder he popped the first button of Dean’s shirt open and was unsurprised when Dean bit him. Teeth bit into his flesh so tightly that he could feel sticky rivulets over his thumb. Drops of crimson fell on the skin above Dean’s t-shirt. There was something about seeing it there that made his cock throb. He let Dean grind his teeth into his hand a moment more before shaking him off. He didn’t bother to heal the wound. The pain was little more than a mild sting so why worry about it? It only increased his arousal.

From where he stood looking over Dean’s shoulder, Castiel’s fingers worked down the shirt, opening the buttons one at a time until the fabric could be parted. He curled his fingers into Dean’s t-shirt, yanking it from his pants and pulling it halfway up his abdomen while his fingernails scraped up the flesh, digging in with the intent to cause pain. Dean’s head rolled back to rest upon Castiel’s stomach. Those green eyes swept up to meet Castiel’s and he grinned, showing blood in his teeth.

“Not even going to give a guy a kiss, eh, Cas? You’re just going to dive right in and take what you want.” Dean’s lips drew into a good approximation of a pout that was spoiled only by the red on his lips.

“Is that what you’d like, Dean?” Cas’s voice was mild, belying the surge of want that crashed through his senses, rolling up and down his body and filling him with the urge to hold Dean still so he could fuck into him.

Dean nodded, his lips parting in that infernal grin once more so Cas bent over him and brought their lips together. He tasted blood, his blood, first and foremost. The copper taste clung to Dean’s soft lips and Castiel groaned into them. His tongue worked over the perfect shape of Dean’s lips but he withdrew it quickly when those lips parted beneath his own. He didn’t take the offered taste and could feel another pout building beneath his mouth. Instead, he caught Dean’s lower lip between his teeth and gave it a tug. The rich sound of Dean’s moan sent shivers of electricity down his spine, the heat of which pooled in his gut. He tugged again, his nose to Dean’s chin with the awkward angle of the contact. After a long moment of worrying the flesh between his teeth, he let go and finished his circuit around the chair to stand before Dean.

With his t-shirt rucked up and the over shirt falling over his shoulders, Dean already looked perfectly debauched. His pupils were blown wide with lust, reducing the green of his eyes to a single thin ring. His lips were plump and red from their kisses. Red scratches showed on his abdomen and chest, stopping just below his nipples.

“And here I thought you would be gentle with me.” Dean’s words were half awe and half sneer. They stared at each other again, heat building over their harsh breathing. “You just gonna stand over there, Cas? You know you need your clothes off if we are gonna do the deed.”

Cas flicked his eyes away from Dean and looked down at himself, fully clothed with blood still dripping off his fingers. He grabbed the lapels of the trench coat to draw it off when Dean stopped him.

“Leave it.” Dean demanded, shifting forward in the chair he was bound to once more. He crooked his finger at Castiel, beckoning him closer.

Castiel moved forward as if bound by rope and tugged forward. When he stood knee to knee with Dean, the man’s hands curled into the trench coat and began to pull Cas down. When they were nose to nose, Dean leaned in to lick Cas’s lips. He parted them for a moment but not so far that he couldn’t feel Dean’s breath against his lips. “Take off that tie and be a good boy and unbutton your shirt too. After all, I _am_ a little tied up.”

When Castiel drew up to do as Dean suggested, his fingers hooking into his tie to drag it loose, Dean’s fingers gave a yank to the trench coat again and shifted Cas towards Dean’s hand. Before he could work out why, Dean’s fingers gripped the zipper of Cas’s pants and ran it down as far as he could. He glanced up at Cas with a cat-who-got-the –canary grin before his fingers worked inside as much as they could, pressing lightly against Castiel’s throbbing cock. A hiss burst from Cas’s lips as he pressed himself further into the touch, needing more.

Dean smirked. “Got you all nice and ready. Gonna bend me over and fuck me?”

Cas’s fingers fell away from his shirt when he got all the buttons open, letting the fabric fall away to reveal the flesh beneath. He reached for his pants to undo his belt and pop the top button open. The heavy fabric slithered over his hips and pooled around his ankles. He stepped out of them and kicked them away. He held Dean’s gaze for a long time, long enough that he began to squirm. “How much of you is Dean and how much demon?”

“Both.” Dean’s chuckle was low and throaty. “I’m still Dean but I’m demon too. One and the same.”

“That’s not true.” Cas leaned over, his lips whispering over Dean’s ear until he reached the lobe, which he caught in his teeth. He gave a sharp tug and was pleased to hear another moan on Dean’s lips. “I can see your soul, Dean. I know there’s a difference. I’ll find your light again.”

_well I rose and I rose, and I paid less time,  
To your callous mind_ , _and I wished you well as you cut me down,_

Dean spluttered, suddenly struggling in the chair as Castiel sank until he was kneeling between Dean’s thighs. Dean snarled as Cas leaned in all the way and nuzzled into his crotch. He could smell arousal as he rubbed his cheek against the hard shape behind Dean’s zipper. Above him, the man struggled even as his breath began to pant want. It seemed that despite all of his bravado, the one thing Dean wasn’t prepared to handle was any sort of gentleness or affection.

Cas wanted Dean, he wanted to feel the heat of his body against his skin and to take everything the man had to give. He wanted to dominate him and bring him to his knees, to hold him underneath his own body and to thrust into him until they both lost their minds. But he also loved Dean. Loved him to the depth of his being and was a slave to that feeling beyond any hope of freedom or salvation. The two feelings warred within him as he reached for the fly of the jeans before him and opened it. Dean had ceased to struggle and he was aware of the man’s gaze burning into him from above. He didn’t look up; he simply drew out Dean’s cock and gave it a rough stroke with his hand.

He considered being gentle, knowing that it would gall the demon inside of Dean. He knew that neither of them needed that at the moment. After a second stroke, he shifted his hand so that it was holding the base of Dean’s dick and dropped down to it so his lips nuzzled the weeping head. Above him Dean drew in his breath with a hiss but his hips arched up into the contact. Cas pressed one hand to the man’s hip and pushed him back into the chair before he wrapped his lips around the head and sucked. Dean’s precome was bitter on his tongue however he savored its taste. He smiled as he sucked more and more of that length down, listening to the noises of pleasure Dean made with a half-smile. That wasn’t his purpose here, however and he moved to fulfill it. He couldn’t release Dean and expect him to allow himself to be fucked without trying to get away. Nor could he truly let himself take what he wanted while Dean was imprisoned in his demonic state. No, he had another plan that would avoid both of these issues. So he tugged something from his trench coat pocket and set to work while he distracted Dean with his mouth. It truly was no hardship; the sounds that he coaxed from Dean’s lips made it all worthwhile. The distraction of opening himself up while he sucked Dean off was more than enough to keep him focused towards the end goal.

By the time he’d finished with his preparations, Dean’s hips were thrusting shallowly into his mouth. A look up to the man gave him a view of exactly how debauched Dean looked, his eyes practically glowing with a fierce heat that seemed as if it would swallow Castiel whole.

Dean licked his lips, for a moment seeming unsure. “Are we ever going to get this show on the road?” He demanded, his eyebrows drawing into a scowl, even as he arched his hips up pleading for more.

“We are.” Castiel confirmed as he stood up and tugged his boxer shorts completely off. He took care of his shoes and socks quickly while Dean watched.

Amusement colored the bound man’s face. “How, exactly, are you going to fuck me fully dressed and tied to this chair.”

“I’m not.” He reached down with his fingers still slicked with lube and stroked them over Dean’s cock, which was still shiny with his saliva. He gave it two or three strokes while Dean squirmed uncomfortably in the chair. “You’re going to fuck me.”

Dean lips drew back into a snarl, as if he didn’t know how to take this. When he looked into Castiel’s eyes, all he would see was fathomless blue both calm and loving. “God damn you to hell, Cas.”

Cas braced a hand on Dean’s shoulders and threaded his body so that they were tangled in the chair, his hole lining up over the head of Dean’s cock. “I’m quite certain he already has, Dean.” He leaned closer, his lips brushing over Dean’s as the man tried to bite him. His other hand wrapped around the base of Dean’s cock to hold it steady as he applied steady pressure until the blunt shape breached his rim. With his forehead pressed against Dean’s, he sank down until he was fully impaled and seated in Dean’s lap. “I’ll take hell to have you.”

_But I'll still believe though there's cracks you'll see,  
When I'm on my knees I'll still believe,_

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean threw his head back as he thrust up into Castiel’s body, giving him no time at all to adjust to the intrusion. Pain was a distant thrum that slowly began to wash away into pleasure the more that Dean thrust into him. He ground his body down into the thrusts until it was clear that Dean had reached the most he could do bound as he was. Castiel took the control from him them, rising up and slamming himself down with a jarring force. A groan was drawn from Dean’s lips and then his own as the power of their bodies meeting intensified the heat between them. There was nothing but Dean now; he was inside of him, both darkness and light at war now with both of them. He reached to Dean’s soul as he fucked himself down onto Dean’s cock, over and over again. The golden-green light of the soul threading through his fingers and touching his grace, despite the heavy darkness that bore it down. When he looked at Dean, he could see tears building at the corners of his eyes and streaking down his cheeks. Curses flew from his lips as they fucked, the action somewhere between divine and infernal, the two opposites contrasting violently. The energy it produced hummed between them, running over Castiel’s flesh in a thousand pinpricks of pain that raised the hairs along his arms and at the back of his neck. Underneath him, Dean shivered with it while his hands clutched uselessly at the arms of the chair.

The chair creaked dangerously beneath them, its legs scratching across the floor with the sheer force of the way they moved together. Castiel had no true idea how much time had passed, how long he lost himself with Dean into the hurricane of his own want. He didn’t care; Dean was beneath him, teeth clenched and hips thrusting with the same need. That was all that mattered. Then Dean was babbling beneath him, his words stilted and broken as his movements became uneven.”

“Please Cas… just fuck… please… fuck… Cas… I need.” There was no one sentence that ever left those lips but Castiel knew what it was Dean wanted and he gave it to him, changing the angle of his hips to send Dean deeper inside of him. When Dean howled his pleasure, he leaned into him and bit his shoulder and was rewarded with the hot pulse of Dean’s come coating him. He reached between their bodies, tasting the tang of Dean’s blood on his lips and he fisted his own cock and striped it frantically until he was coming onto Dean’s stomach.

He came to rest in the chair, heavy in Dean’s lap. He touched their lips together but the kiss was little more than panting breaths between tiny brushes of their mouths.

“I hate you.” Dean hissed, his teeth catching Castiel’s lower lip and biting down. In counterpoint to his words, the tug against his flesh wasn’t truly meant to harm.

“I love you.” Castiel whispered once he freed his lip. “Even now, as a demon, I see you Dean and I love you.” Beneath him, Dean struggled to get away but was fully trapped by the chair and Cas’s weight. “I’ll find the light in you again. I believe in that… in you.. in us. I believe.”

_And when I've hit the ground, neither lost nor found,  
If you'll believe in me I'll still believe _

 


End file.
